Vanathy - Talking by myself

Hello

I am Vanathy. 

I am happy to see you. 

I am in Chennai.

My happy birthday is 25-Aug.

I love Barbie dolls.

I baked a cake for New year. 

I love my friends.



I love my family

Happy New Year!

Vanathy

Adventures of Sibi - I

As 2012 comes to a close, here is something from what Sibi wrote sometime ago. Based on the published items from Tinkle, he wrote these. These are some of the excerpts.

 Happy new year!

Adventures of Sibi

1. Lays Vs Eggs

Once my mother asked me to buy 10 eggs from Sathya stores (a nearby shop)  gave me money to buy Lays chips packet, if I want. I went to Sathya stores and there was no Lays. So I went to Maha Yogam (a nearby supermarket). And bought 2 Lays packet. I came back to home.

My mother asked me for the eggs. I gave her 2 Lays packets. She asked me again where are the eggs. I saw my hands and I was holding 40 rupees and I have to go back to get the eggs.

2. Billy Comfort.

Once my mother asked me to buy Comfort (a chemical used to wash clothes). I bought it and marched back to home. I saw a man following me and I ran. He also started running and chasing me. I was about to shout. He said he came chasing me to give the Comfort. I saw inside the cover and nothing was there except the bill. I was ashamed and I thanked the guy and marched home. I told everything to my mother and she laughed.

3. Hit by 3

Once we were playing cricket on the road in front to my Grandma's house. When it was my turn to bat, Aadith, my younger cousin started bowling. Pramoth, my elder cousin, was keeping the wickets. 

On the roadside, a man was eating. I tried to drive the ball.and hit the man's leg directly from the place where I stood. The man started shouting and picked a big wooden stick to beat us.

Luckily, the wall was short and we three climbed over it and escaped from the place.

4. Lost in VGP

Once we went to VGP and when we were coming back, I raced my parents to the car.  When I reached near the car parking, I noticed that my parents weren't there behind me. 

I ran to our car and identified it. I waited for others to come. I saw my father coming towards the car. He asked me to sit inside the car. I saw others coming. They said that they went inside a shop to buy sweet corn, which I asked before going inside.

5. Bateroplane

Once, during my quarterly holidays, we went to Dindigul. There I played cricket in the terrace with Abhishek (my elder cousin).

When it was my turn to bat, I swung the bat. Suddenly there was silence all over. I too noticed that the bat weight has reduced in my hands. 

But how? To found out, I saw my hand and saw that it was holding a ball! Everyone laughed. I went over and checked that the bat was lying in the next house. I actually has swung the bat and it flew into the nearby house and I caught the ball!

The next house was my another Grandpa's house (my maternal grandpa's younger brother) and I went there next day and picked up the bat.

A Christmas Tale - Sibi , Vanathy and Santa Claus

 Today is Christmas day. Last Christmas, Vanathy received gifts from Santa and was so happy about it. This year, they went to Madurai for a function and so missed out on the Christmas at home. 

 But then she has been waiting for the gift from Santa all year long and so asked me whether Santa will deliver the gifts even if she is not here. I told her it is not possible as Santa will check whether the kids are there and if they are not, he wont. 

 She was not happy with the answer and asked me what the postman did if no body's home. I told her he will leave it with the neighbor or will come the next day. So, she said, Santa must be doing the same. He cannot expect everyone to be at home when he comes around. It was me who was looking for an answer...

 So they went to Madurai. Today, Vanathy texted me a message from her mother's mobile. Following is the text:

"You have to take my Christmas gift into the house and take it carefully my gift and you do not open my gift. I have to open my gift."

She immediately called me back (like she always does) to see whether I've read the message. And gave me a lecture on why I should not be opening her gift and if I follow her instructions, she will give me two kisses.

 Likewise, this year's gift for Vanathy from Santa is waiting for her at home till she comes back on Friday and opens it..

 Of course, Sibi is at a stage where he has become skeptical about the whole Santa business and even last year, he was searching for bills or the cover or the handwriting on the gifts to prove that I am the Santa who is delivering the goods.  I have to basically tell him that Santa will cut him off if does not stop the blasphemy.

 He is not here to do the sleuthing this year and hence, all evidences of Santa's visit were done with already. 

 And this year, Santa brought a little something for J as well. 

 After much search, I found that Santa left the gifts on our terrace and here is a shot of them. Apparently, Santa picked up the gifts from the "Santa Toy land" in the local Hamleys.


 Will be opened on Friday after the kids are home.

Merry Christmas to you all!

Oru Gallu - 3 Undavalli Caves - Vijayawada

The Satavahana express reaches Vijayawada by 9.30PM and after a late check-in the Haritha Berm Park (which is nothing to write about or even talk about) crashed for the day.

Got up late next day and was stunned by the view of river Krishna from where I was standing. It was huge and it was absolutely beautiful. There were boats and islands but couldn't see the other bank of the river. Amazing!
River Krishna
  After a late breakfast, started for the Undavalli caves. If you thought the Autodrivers in Chennai are bad, then you haven't been to Vijayawada. The two instances I took auto, I ended up in arguments with the driver when dropping off. The pre-paid counter in the station gave a receipt for 30 Rs as auto far to the hotel and I gave 40Rs and ended up arguing as the driver was asking for 50Rs. I flatly refused and then he started shouting in Telugu. I ignored and went to the hotel. And the same happened when I was asking for an auto to the Undavalli caves. I was asked anywhere from 200-250Rs for a 7Km ride. I ended up getting an auto for 150Rs and he started asking for 180Rs when we reached the caves. So to avoid all this, took the APSRTC bus while returning back and the female conductor started shouting in telugu for asking the 2Rs return on a 10Rs note for a 8Rs ticket (she did not return the 2Rs!). Overall, pretty bad experience in all modes of transport in Vijayawada. In a way, I was happy that at least in Chennai, I can shout back.

Undavalli Caves

Undavalli caves lie in the middle of palm trees and fields of paddy on one side and in a naturally elevated area in a hill. Thus you can see the caves from a distance and the caves cut a beautiful picture against the backdrop of beautiful black hill on which it was carved.

The caves
One of the intact ones
Carved into the hill as a three storeyed structure, they date back to the 4-5 centuries AD and probably had a beginning as a Buddhist or Jain origins. There are very similar to the Jain caves but apparently somewhere along, they got converted into a Hindu 'cave' or temple.

The first floor (or the ground floor) is a pillared structure, probably used as a night-stay as the place is full of pillars and nothing else. The second floor is suppose to house the Trimurti and the third floor has a huge stone statue of Vishnu in the anantha sayana pose, which is where the puja and rituals take place. One can go above the third floor which looks like an unfinished floor.
Narada?

The third floor also has three big statues of 'muni's which the local guy said to be Narada and Thumbura(no idea who that is). Somehow I felt that they looked like pictures from the Jataka tales and might be again Jain statues converted to Hindu sages. But I am not the expert here.

The caves show evidences of damages either from an invading army or just vandalism. Not many of the statues survive outside the big one listed above. The pillars are full of defaced statues and/or broken ones. The ones that are there show clear Buddhist/Jain inflences in the way they are sculpted.

And in some places, ASI has restored the faces of the sculptures with mortar/white cement etc to show us how beautiful they might've been. I, somehow, felt that it was better to leave these defaced than attempting to fix the originals. The fixes were hideous to say the least.

Urthava?
This is the true for the Ramappa and Hanamkonda temples as well. While the original structures were suppose to have not used any mortar/cement etc, but built by carving stones one over the other (the interlocking mechanisms were beautiful), the ASI restoration is full of mortar and cement to stick together the stones which basically is like taking the souls of these temples away. It looks awful and probably a disservice to the future generations.

View from the top
Back to the caves, the view of the area from the top of the caves is best seen than described. Although river Krishna is suppose to be only a stone throw away, one couldn't see it from the top of the caves (probably because the river is in the back of the hill!).  

There are some small carvings around and I am sure there may be some messages and inscriptions if only we can do a proper check of the hill (just like in every other Jain/Buddhist/Hindu caves) and they might tell some interesting stories. Unfortunately, there is not even a guide around from ASI.

Walked around a little and decided to go to the Kanaga Durga temple by Bus. Like I mentioned earlier, took the bus and after crossing the Prakash barrage, found that the temple is perched on a hill top. Tried walking to the top and after some time, gave up and started to the Vijayawada station to catch the afternoon Jan Shatabti to Chennai.

Oru Gallu 2. Hanamkonda Temple & Warangal Fort

After attending the reception, which was the reason I was there in the first place, and after an absolutely fabulous Andhra meals, it was decided to go to the Thousand Pillars temple and the Warangal Fort. This time some of my team mates joined as well.

The driver who was to drop us mentioned that the 'Thousand pillar temple' and the Warangal Fort are the same. Gullible as we are, we accepted and decided to look into the 'Thousand pillar temple' first.

Thousand pillar temple, Hanamkonda

The Thousand pillar temple in Hanamkonda actually has only about 600 pillars. The mandapa with 400 more pillars has been dismantled and is being 'worked' by the ASI in the premises.
The temple from the back


Front view
 It is better to not describe the state of the temple as it is very poorly maintained. I think we need to make up our mind whether we want to treat this one as our heritage or as a place of worship. ASI is trying to do both and fails miserably.
Engraved pillars












Upper ceiling
The temple lies in the middle of the Hanamkonda city and thus is crowded with local worshippers. After the Ramappa temple, this one is very similar but has more damage to the interior and exterior of the temple.



The temple sits on a raised star shaped platform and has all the hallmarks that defines the Chalukyan style. The pillars are closely built on the temple and walls and so is difficult to count. There is a big Nandi on the outside and the pillars are all intricately built.


Only a few panel sculptures are left

Flower motif on outer wall panels



All around the temple there are ruins and remnants of the work ASI is doing. There is no way to find what the temple is about and the activity that goes on. The temple panels are almost damaged 100% , probably by invadors of the past and most of the sculptures are defaced as well.


The inner sanctum has three moorthis, Lord Shiva, Lord Vishnu and Surya. Not sure why Brahma was missed out. There is worship going on with all the usual damages our temples undergo by crowds. The Nandi is covered in manjal and Kungumam and it is difficult to make out the intricate designs on the Nandi by looking at it.
Temple kulam

There is enough crowd coming to the temple and it is just a matter of streamlining and making sure the worship happens without damage to the temple and also the sculptures and the pillars are all maintained with restricted access to the worshippers.








Warangal Fort

After the disappointment that was the Hanamkonda temple, we inquired around and took an auto to the Warangal fort. The fort is about 7 KM away and for 100Rs the autowalla took 5 of us there. Inconceivable in Chennai!

After moving away from the city, the first sign of the fort is the ruined outer walls in the middle of the fields that comes into view. Once past that, the fort ruins are fenced off and can be entered through the gate which is manned a watchman. 
Panaromic view of the ruins

The Kakatiya Thorana

The place seems to be popular as when we were there, we can see multiple school trips happening with more tourists and locals. But the fort itself is in complete ruins.

The first thing that strikes the eye once you enter the complex is the Thorana style entrances which would've adorned the four entrances of the fort. They are huge, intricate in workmanship and looks so beautiful they basically take away focus from the rest of the fort.

The ruins are suppose to be the remnants of 3 temples and the fort itself along with other parts of the dwelling areas. The fort was supposed to have been completed during the reign of Rani Rudramma Devi and was laid to waste by invaders during the decline of the Kakatiyas. 
 
And laid to waste it was in a complete fashion, as there is precious few parts remaining of the above said temples and there are only pieces of stone left for the other areas. The size of the thoranas or the entrances should've saved them from destruction. It was heart-wrenching to imagine the beauty of the fort itself would've been before destruction. 

The fort is huge and need a lot of time for a complete exploration to be done, if you are interested. We spent about an hour and since it was nearing the time for the next train.

Again another auto for 125Rs and checked out of the hotel for the Kazipet station. The station is a bit far from where I stayed and boarded the Satavahana express for the next destination, Vijayawada.      

Oru gallu - 1 Ramappa Temple

It was decided to go to Warangal for a team mate's marriage. I was eager to go as it is the center for the Kakatiya rulers and gave a chance to see some of their excellent architectural remains in the form of the temples in the area. Since J and the kids didn't want to travel, I decided to go it alone. Tickets were booked and the day came.

The journey started in earnest when I boarded the Charminar on the 23rd. The journey was uneventful with nothing to write about and reached Warangal at around 5AM on 24th. Checked into the Suprabha hotel and after breakfast started for the Ramappa temple.

Ramappa Temple and Lake

The driver I've had for the trip was a young guy, who basically had the habit of checking his hair in the rear view mirror now and them. Sometimes he checked his still growing moustache. A sure way to run into the so many lorries coming our way, but he did not mind. When I told him a couple of times, he shrugged it and went on doing it. Then I decided if this is what fate intended to do, to make fun of my final minutes, I will as well embrace it. 

Cotton Fields

Ramappa temple is located in a place called Ramappa, near the palampet village which is near Mulug. The total distance comes to about 75Kms one way. The road is suppose to be a national highway but had nothing to show for it. It is two-laned with not-so-much traffic, just the APSRTC buses ,lorries and share-autos with so many people on it plying the roads. Both the sides of the road are full of cotton fields.  

Long home to the Naxal movement in Andhra and now in the midst of the Telangana struggle, Warangal district out side the city of Warangal shows the reasons why it is so. The villages that I crossed were full of abject poverty with few stone houses and many huts. Probably the land owners are in the cities and the workers are left in the villages. As we travel along, the cotton fields vanish with the arid red soil takes over. Between the hillocks, I was thinking of the numerous ambushes that would've happened here. My driver was talking about a place nearby called Pagala Chevuru where we can see the bombed out buildings from the Naxal time. I didn't had the time and decided not to go.

One of the queer things in the middle of that poverty was the presence of at least 2 English medium schools in each of the villages. All these are very prominent with flex-boards outside with the students and their makrs promising IIT and medical foundation courses etc. I can only think of the amount of money these people will be paying those for all that. And these schools are not just schools they are either 'Techno schools' or 'Digi schools', I was not even aware of these words till that time. What they mean by that only God knows, but I am sure they will get the explanation in loads of money. On the other hand, they all have some funny name for the schools (like HCL Digi school etc) but the winner of the naming competition is one 'Disneyland English medium school' just outside Warangal. I cannot believe when I saw that. There were even two mickey in that name, which promises the same as every other school in the area.

Back to the trip, the roads were OK and we made good time to reach Mulug. The next10 KMs to the Palampet village are trying, to say the least. Ramappa temple lies 1-2 KMs from the Palampet village.


 The temple itself is hidden by the trees in the garden and once you reach the outer wall, it comes to full view. The first thing that strikes is the similarity to the Hoysala temples. The same raised platform, the temple gopuras, the pillars, the panels around the temple etc. Since the Kakatiyas and the Hoysalas were in the same period, it was difficult to say who influenced whom. But it was easy to say that both were heavily influenced by the Chalukyas.

 
Built by the great Kakatiya ruler Ganapati Deva, the temple is named after its sculptor Ramappa. One of the thoughts that consistently ran in my mind while there was why some one would chose this place, which is 75 KMs from the capital and has no other city nearby, to build on instead of building it in the capital itself. That is a mystery.


Front view of the temple
           The temple is in a raised platform which is star-shaped and houses a big black-granite Lingam in the garbagraha. There is a gopuram and it was told that the temple was built by having placed stones one over other and no cement or mortar is used. The sculptures in the panels outside were in bad condition and the temple itself looks a little better. Compared to Belur/Halebidu which were built around the same time, this temple is maintained badly, to say the least.

Pointed star ceilings
The dancing girl

Guess what?























 The sculptures in the panels sports mostly vignettes from the puranas and there are some erotic ones thrown now and there. And like in the Halebidu, the panels show off eroticism and there are quite a few of them to boost. The dancing girls in the mandapas are good but compared to the Shatala Devi dancing sculptures of Halebidu, they look ordinary.

 







I started comparing with Hoysala temples as the resemblance is uncanny. The carved windows, the pointed star shaped ceilings with various purana sculptures all remind one of the common influence the builders and how differently it was conceptualized.

Raised stone slabs in the Mandapa
 The Nandi was probably the best part of the temple and it is huge, polished with intricate carvings on it. There were supposed to be three shrines in the complex and the other 2 are in ruins. The outer compound wall and the entrance is also in ruins. Apparently an earthquake in the 18th century was the reason and you can see the raised stone slabs inside the temple almost in sync which was the result of the earth quake.

Ruins outside the temple
Much of the prahara outside is littered with panels and broken sculptures from the temple without even a roof over it. When I visited, there was a huge demolishing machine parked in the prahara, which if I were not that clever, would've believed to be there for the ASI to demolish and build the temple.

Probably the crowd is not there, and the 5 Rupees entrance fee is not enough, but that is no reason for keeping a place like this untidy and in perpetual ruins. The patching job done here and there in the temple with cement and mortar is jarring to the eyes to say the least. But I was not prepared for what lied in front of me when I will be visiting the Hanamkonda temple.

Ruined temple on the banks of Ramappa tank
After the temple was done, visited the Ramappa tank, which is a huge lake with full of water (please, I live in Chennai!). There was a ruined temple on the bank and it was used for cooking huge amounts of food for the villagers there. There were few people taking a dip as well.


Ramappa Tank
While returning from the tank, we saw a couple walking to the tank. My driver slowed the vehicle, continuously honked, then turned his head (with the car moving) till the girl went out of view. This is something which I noticed in general here. People ogle at women openly and without any quibble to their conscience it seemed (noticed that in Warangal as well!). May be it was considered an admirable trait in the area, but for the uninitiated, beware.

And the trip to Ramappa concluded with me dreaming of the beautiful Andhra meals that was getting ready in the reception that I was going to.
  
For more pictures from my trip --> Ramappa Temple

For my trips to Belur and Halebidu temples , go here -->
Belur, Halebidu & Hulikere

For more on the erotic sculptures of Ramappa temple, go here --> An approach to the erotic sculpture of Ramappa temple

Two Movies

One
When I read the reviews, I was not terribly interested. But to watch a movie where people don't scream at each other seems like a big recommendation and so decided to watch it.
There are movies that scream 'feminist' and there are those that define the same subtly. "English Vinglish' does it the latter way. Though, 'feminist' is a strong tag with lot of implications, I am using it in the broader sense of the word.
By this time, I think the story is common knowledge. What I loved in the movie is the little sub-text that if not alert, can pass by without getting noticed. 
Although Sashi gets passed over for the lack of English knowledge, the mother-in-law is not. There lies the pressure on the 'bahu' to live up to the set standards of the society/family till she becomes the MIL. This cycle is something vicious which builds a lot of distaste in families unless someone tries to break it. Here, the MIL does that.
The film was at its best when it took on the platonic relationship of Sashi with Laurent. This, at least, is unknown territory in mainstream cinema. There are only black and white relationships we are comfortable with, especially when it comes to mother/wife. We put them onto a pedestal and expect them to live up to it while the rest live it out as we want it. 
Hence, the standard reaction seen on our cinema when someone other than your husband describes you as 'beautiful' is to scream or wait for a hero to spew platitudes about the sanctity of the relationships. The guy who is making the move is usually after the one thing a girl has and it is imperative to keep it safe. 
But Sashi handles it differently. She has the understanding (which I think every girl has, but afraid to admit) that it is purely platonic and she feels that way simply because of the way mind works. She thanks Laurent for making her feel good and allows him to walk her home and that's that.
The insensitivity of her family to her travails make her speak out in the climax but it was not the exposition of grammer and for some reason, rhyme in English, as has been made familiar by our illiterate heroes who belt out in chaste English after a couple of classes. Sashi stutters through the speech stating in third person whatever she wanted to say. The couple reconcile and in the flight back, we see her taking her 'rightful' place.
Hardly revolutionary. But that such a film is taken and is turning popular simply means that for a film like Ray's 'Charulatha' to appear in our mainstream cinema, we have to wait a little less.

Two
Martial arts movies are one of my favorite genre. Usually they are mindless movies with good action sequences and you do not need a lot of investment to watch it. So when started looking for the 'Ip man' movies, this is exactly I had in mind. 
 It all started from this article in Uyirmmai. Though I've not watched 'Mugamoodi', I've seen the action sequences and they looked different. So when I read that the Wing Chun style was used and the 'Ip man' movies made it familiar, I was hooked.
So it was I watched the movies. And realized that they are not just action movies, they are actually better than art. The story line is not very complicated but the period setting makes them look very different. The first one is set during the 1937 Japanese invasion of China and the second one in the 1950's Hong Kong. 
Both have the good guy - bad guy symmetry and no surprises there. The surprise lies in the beautiful story telling. There is not one excess shot in both the movies.
A semi-biographical take on the Chinese master Yip Man, the movies look and feel like the art he is practicing. Very calm and even the action sequences are moving along the story and does not stuck out. What makes it different is the fantastic acting by Donnie Yen (became a fan) and Sammo Hung. The serenity and calmness of Donnie Yen is amazing to watch. He underplays the character all through and you actually want him to scream at some point (which never happens!).
A must-watch movie for any person interested in watching good movies.

Li Bai and Du Fu

BBC is running a series on the people from China and came across this article on the poets.

Du Fu seems to be a quintessential poet who couldn't bow to the emperor, couldn't earn money and when his roof was blown away, he was dreaming of a mansion with hundreds of rooms. His story was interesting and so searched and was reading a few of his English translated poems.

Li Bai is a contemporary and a drunkard and a poet. It is interesting to read of his life and more interesting to read his poems. They are modern, on subjects that we know of and have an yearning which is quite disturbing to read. Li Bai dies as he lived, drowning in a river trying to embrace the moon.

One word on the translations. Some are good and some, it is clear that the translation is awful as the words are jutting out. But there are a few that just get the words right and makes you wonder how good it would've been to read it in original.

Du Fu
Here are a couple.

ON A MOONLIGHT NIGHT
Far off in Fuzhou she is watching the moonlight,
Watching it alone from the window of her chamber-
For our boy and girl, poor little babes,
Are too young to know where the Capital is.
Her cloudy hair is sweet with mist,
Her jade-white shoulder is cold in the moon.
...When shall we lie again, with no more tears,
Watching this bright light on our screen?
- Du Fu


Li Bai

IN THE QUIET NIGHT
So bright a gleam on the foot of my bed 
Could there have been a frost already?
Lifting myself to look, I found that it was moonlight.  
Sinking back again, I thought suddenly of home. 
- Li Bai


 Translations from - http://etext.virginia.edu/chinese/frame.htm


The BBC podcast is here - http://www.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/series/china
Article - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-19884020

Nostalgic 6 - தோத்திர பாடல்கள்

என் பள்ளி நாட்களில் என்னை மிகவும் குழப்பிய சில விசயங்களில் ஒன்று நான் எந்த மதத்தை சேர்ந்தவன் என்பது. அந்த குழப்பத்திற்கு நிறைய காரணங்கள். முக்கியமான ஒன்று, என் அம்மா.

எனக்கு நினைவு தெரிந்து மிக மகிழ்ச்சியான நாட்களில் ஒன்று கிறிஸ்துமஸ். அன்றைய தினத்திற்கு முன் தினம் நள்ளிரவு ஜெபத்திற்க்காய் மதுரை கீழ வாசல் CSI சர்ச்க்கு செல்வோம். என் அம்மா, பெரியம்மாக்கள், சித்திகள், என் அப்பம்மா, அவரது சகோதரிகள், அவர்களது மகன்கள் என ஓர் பெரிய family re union அங்கே அரங்கேறும். நாங்கள் எல்லோரும் சர்ச்சின் வெளியே விளையாடிக் கொண்டிருப்போம். நடு  இரவின் பின் எல்லோரும் கிளம்பி வீட்டிற்கு செல்வோம்.சமயத்தில் அப்போது கேக்கும் கிடைக்கும்.

எங்கள் எல்லோர் பெயரும் பைபிள் வார்த்தைகள் என்று எனது அப்பம்மா சொல்லி கேட்டிருக்கிறேன். என் அம்மாவை புரிந்து கொள்வதுதான் குழப்பங்களில் விட்டது. நடு இரவு ஜெபங்கள், முஸ்லிம் அம்மாவுடன் வீட்டில் ஜெபம் என எல்லாம் நடக்கும். வெள்ளி, செவ்வாய்களில் கந்தர் சஷ்டி கவசமும் வீட்டில் பாடும்.
என் அப்பாவின் அம்மா எனக்கு நினைவு தெரிந்து கிறிஸ்துவ மதத்தில் இருந்தார் அவரது அம்மா (சந்தோசம்மாள்) அதற்கு முன்பே கிறிஸ்தவ மதத்தில் இருந்தார். இன்னமும் எனது குடும்பத்தில் சரி பாதி கிறிஸ்துவர்கள். எல்லா வீட்டு  விழாக்களிலும் கிறிஸ்தவ தோத்திர பாடல்கள் பாடவேண்டும். என் பெரியம்மாவோ, அல்லது யாரவது பாடல் புஸ்தகங்களை தருவார். நாங்கள் பேரன், பேத்திகள் அனைவரும் பாடுவோம். என் அம்மா, சித்திகள், பெரியம்மா எல்லோரும் பாடுவார்கள்.


நான் எட்டாவது படிக்கும் போது என் அப்பம்மா இறந்தார்கள். அப்போது கல்லறையில் அவரை வைத்து விட்டு நாங்கள் எல்லோரும் சுற்றி நின்று பாடியது இப்பவும் நினைவில்.

ஆனால் யாரும் என்னிடம் இதுதான் பெரியது அல்லது இந்த மதத்திற்கு வந்து விடு என்று சொன்னதில்லை  (என் அம்மாவிடம் சொன்னதாக கேள்வி). அதனாலோ என்னவோ பள்ளி நாட்களிலேயே புதிய ஏற்பாடும் பழைய ஏற்பாடும் படித்து முடித்துவிட்டேன். இந்த குழப்பத்தில் எந்த பக்கமும் சாராது இருக்கவே பல நாட்கள் நாத்திக வேஷம் போட்டிருக்கிறேன்.

இதை புரிந்து கொண்டு மதம் இதில் முக்கியம் இல்லை மனிதர்கள் மட்டுமே முக்கியம் என்று நான் புரிந்து கொள்ள ஆரம்பிக்கும் போது நாத்திகராய்  இருந்த என் அப்பா கோயில்களுக்கு செல்ல ஆரம்பித்து விட்டார். மாற்றங்கள் மட்டுமே வாழ்க்கையாய்  இருக்கிறது.

இந்த பாடல்கள் எல்லாம் என் அப்பம்மாவிற்கும், அவரது சகோதரிகளுக்கும், என் மீது அன்று படிக்க பணமின்றி இருந்த நாட்களிலும் பின்னர் கொஞ்சம் தலை நிமிர்ந்த போது என்று எல்லா நாட்களிலும் அன்பை மட்டுமே காட்டிய என் தாத்தாகளுக்கும், ஏன், எனக்கும் பிரியமான பாடல்கள்.

மனதை பிசைந்து, கண்ணில் நீர் வர மனக் கவலைகளை தீர்ப்பதற்கு மதம் என்பது வெறும் பெயரின்றி மற்றது எல்லாம் இசையும், பாடல்களும் மட்டுமே என்று புரிவதற்கு சில வருடங்கள் பிடித்தாலும் இன்றும் என்னால் பதில் சொல்ல முடியாத கேள்வி, இந்த குழப்பங்கள் இல்லாத வாழ்க்கை இருந்திருந்தால் நான் நானாக இருந்திருப்பேனா?

கடைசியாக, எனக்கு பிடித்த இன்னொரு பாடல். போன வாரம் சென்னை தாம்பரம் செல்லும் மின் வண்டியில் கொஞ்சம் காத்திரமான உடலுடன் ஒரு பார்வை இழந்தவர் இந்த பாடலை உணர்ச்சியுடன் பாடிய பொழுது எனது பள்ளி நாட்களும் நான் பாடிய தோத்திர பாடல்களும் நினைவுக்கு வந்தது. அந்த பாடல் சகோதரர் DGS தினகரனின் குரலில்.

கீழடி அருங்காட்சியகம்.

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