Marriage Story (2019)

It is appropriate to close the year with a take on one of the best movies I've watched this year.

'Marriage Story' is the story of two people - Charlie (Adam Driver) and Nicole (Scarlett Johansson) - going through some tough times as their relationship evolves from one to other. It is painful to watch, meaningful to understand and beautiful to relate to.

Reverdy says 'There is no such thing as love. There are only proofs of love'. Of course, there is no such thing as love - what is left is the attention, affection and the little proofs of love that litter our daily lives. These can be as little as a 'How are you?' to an act of help in the kitchen or any thing in which two individuals show they actually like each other.

Why these proofs are needed? Because that is the only way love can be understood. There is no such thing as inherent understanding of love - it has to be expressed to be felt. Do you express it after 15 years or 30 years? Yes, you still have to if there is any love left.

Now, the movie starts with a little expression of what Charlie and Nicole think about each other. Two perspectives of all sweetness about their partner - until we find out that they are writing it for their marriage mediator and as they take their first step towards a divorce.

Charlie is a successful theater director and Nicole is the lead actress in his productions. Seemingly, they have a successful career and a happy life. However, Nicole feels choked by Charlie's focus on Broadway and wants to explore on her own the artistic limits of what she can do.

That brings to us the most important part of a marriage (or love) - space. The concept of space in a marriage is important as it gives each other the space to move, express their feelings (without worrying about causing to offend) and be mad at times towards each other. The space is also important if one doesn't want to feel smothered in a marriage. It is important because as you identify this space and assert your presence in it, the marriage (or love) strengthens - there is no need to play act to satisfy the other.

Nicole's concept of her artistic limits being barred by Charlie's ego comes out after being smothered in the marriage for 10 years. Charlie - on the other hand- does not recognize that his focus on priorities leaves out Nicole all the time. He realizes it later in the courtroom when Nicole's lawyer, Nora frames - what seems to be a happy marriage - in terms of the way it smothered Nicole and how Charlie's self serving focus restricted her creative ability.

There is no such thing as right or wrong - the right is when Nicole recognized this lack of space for her in the marriage and takes the only way that exists for her - divorce. She has no personal animosity - expresses he admiration of Charlie's genius multiple times - is amicable to him till the end and as their relationship evolves - she picks up the pieces of her love for him and move on.

Charlie - as he is - is an excellent human otherwise and tries hard to understand what was going on with Nicole without bothering to figuring out why she is doing what she is doing. He does that eventually and accepts it.

There is one scene late into the movie - when Charlie and Nicole meet in his apartment and try to talk things over. It is at this point, Charlie realizes how Nicole feels about him and the marriage and finally comes to terms with it a little.

Nora Fanshaw (Laura Dern) - Nicole's lawyer - plays an excellent part - focusing on how the society views the 'mother' as she is getting a divorce and why being polite about a divorce will backfire ("The system rewards bad behavior"). To me, Alan Alda as Charlie's first lawyer is a surprise. I like him and to see him thus old but without lacking any of the wit is interesting.

The movie is completely driven by conversation and there is not a lot of characters but everyone who is present is felt. The dry humor runs all along the movie and there are profoundly sad scenes without exacting the sentimental price from the viewer. These scenes are laced with a little wit and the frames move.

For all that human drama, the movie is not exactly a tragedy. It focuses on how relationships evolve and what causes them to break apart and then move into different stages. And it does that beautifully.

There are a lot of lessons to learn for the Indian viewer but I am sure he is sure to miss all of that and worry about how the lady lawyer exacts harsh terms and why Charlie is correct etc. So the less said about it, the better it is for my mental health.

Overall, I am happy that I watched two very good movies in as many months (the other one is here) and more happy that the year is finally ending.

Music and Morbidity

When you are stuck in bed for days with a fever which is not going away and a cold which literally sucks your energy out and the medicines make you so drowsy, getting a simple sentence assembled in your mind becomes a challenge, there is little one can do.

I am not going to go on about this any further than what I try to do in the time I am spending in the bed. One of the constant companion during this time is Music. There is nothing that puts your mind at ease than music. What I am listening to is what I am going to write about.

Today started with this fantastic article in NY times about the royal family of Oudh. It was a fantastic story with a lots of turns and twists and a lot of sadness tinged into it as well. It was fantastic journalism and the fact that I am reading about it in NY times just tells me the state of journalism here.

One of the things I kept not writing about is 'Game of Thrones'. For the way it killed off the interest to see it in the season eight, basically made me piss off the whole thing. But one of the amazing thing about the whole series is the music that come along with it.

One of the consistent themes of 'Game of Thrones' as a story is the grimness of fate. Nothing lasts forever and everyone dies. Some die when on top and some die unnoticed. But for sure, everyone dies.

Such a morbidness is what is brought out in the music of 'GoT' and what a score it is. This version by the Danish orchestra is mind blowing not just because the guy who starts off by singing the 'Rains of Castamere' looks eerily like a younger version of Tywin Lannister but has the same intensity of his evilness as well. The song has a eerie quality to it as it is sung at every moment of Lannister treachery and bloodiness.

One of the iconic scenes of the entire series - which basically sets the tone of things to come (that is, till the eighth season came along!) - when Daenerys becomes the Mhysa - mother- to her people by freeing them from slavery. The corresponding soundtrack probably is the next favorite.

 

But then, there are only a few moments of elation in the series itself - it is a tale of treachery and a lot of killing and that leaves one with mothers without sons, wives without husbands, lovers torn apart and that is a plenty of sad moments to go about. 

However, Cersei Lannister is no ordinary mother. She can literally light up anything that she thinks is stopping her progeny from getting what they want. The piano score which plays around mostly in almost silent scene where Cersei just waits for her triumph at Red Keep is just plainly haunting.

With all that music flowing between the times, the grimness of the life is in full view of us. There are moments when life gets its bright spots but it is full of grim realities which basically grinds one down.

Lying in the bed, there is nothing but to introspect a lot and I was thinking of Buddha and Mahavira and the way they describe death. Like a candle being blown away or like Gosala says like a ball of string unfurls itself to the end and about crossing the river and also about getting stranded in one bank - what is not attempted, can it be considered done?

Sariputra says somewhere - ‘Life itself is a contradiction because birth is the direct cause , in every single case, of death’

With that cheerful note, enjoy the music..

Ford v Ferrari (2019)

“In the end, all business operations can be reduced to three words: people, product, and profits. People come first. Unless you’ve got a good team, you can’t do much with the other two.” 

It was sometime in 1998 I picked up a copy of the book 'Iacocca:An Autobiography' in the street book stalls of Pondy Bazaar. I had no idea who Iacocca was at that time. When I read through it, I realized that this will be a book which will be with me through my career - giving me the lessons I needed at the start of the career.

When 12-13 years after reading that book, I ended up working for Chrysler as a contractor, it was a strange feeling - of pride to be part of the same company which Iacocca rescued from bankruptcy Of course, Chrysler was going through another messy bankruptcy and was selling assets - so the feeling of  belonging the same company was more intimate than I wanted it to be.

So, when I watched Lee Iacocca appear on screen with a slide deck to show Henry Ford II - the need to create a racing team, I couldn't contain my excitement. While the movie - 'Ford v Ferrari' - is not about Iacocca or about his role in designing the Ford Mustang the year before, to me, I was looking for Iacocca in every frame to see how he is portrayed.

Iacocca passed away some months ago. It was a feeling of losing a good teacher and I do not think I wrote anything at that time, so I thought it is time to write something about him now.

Now, about the movie. 'Ford v Ferrari' is as good a movie gets when it combines a real story with some fast cars. Now, cast Christian Bale and Matt Damon in it, you have a combination which cannot miss.

The movie is about Ford's entry and desire to win the 24 hour Lemans championship and what they did to bring it about. It is also the story of two race drivers - Carroll Shelby and Ken Miles - and how they brought about the defeat of the Ferraris in the championship.

A good movie does not let you pause to second guess the happenings on the screen. You are immersed in the story and start rooting for the protagonist and invest yourself in the happenings. By that standard, 'Ford v Ferrari' wins big. The movie is about 2.5 hours long and you do not feel time flies by. By the time Ken is doing his last lap, you start cheering for him to finish on top.

The committee culture of Ford is something Iacocca writes about in his book and what he had to do to get past that to get new cars introduced or new designs discussed. This is true in any corporate environment today. For all the drama in the movie, I know the ways in which companies by their own policies and procedures kill off solutions which are not in line. This is a difficult challenge to address.

How do you make an inventor or just a brilliant programmer into a 'team player'? As far as I know, the only way to do it is by killing the brilliance. Because I have always believed (and behaved) that conformance kills the inner self and it is by constant rule-breaking that we achieve anything in the world.

However, the world being what it is, it is usually the likes of Leo Beebe who get ahead and the company always manages to snuff off any sense of rule-breaking. This is what I believe is the core issue of the movie - it is the likes of Iacocca who fight this system from within, shielding the freedom of the designers and creators - however, there are always people like Ken Miles who lose out all the time.

To me, the story is just another illustration of the way the corporate committees kill off innovation. Think of Apple - what has it done to itself in the years following Jobs death? - it is the work of marketing committees and scared-to-death of new design executives that we see in the output today.


It was late in the night when the movie finished and we were in the 12th floor of the Phoenix Market city and it was pouring outside. Chennai looked like heaven and we spent quite sometime trying to second guess all that we can see in the night.

Back to the movie, what I liked is that the movie takes an interesting story and makes it more interesting by bringing in all the drama of the 60's culture and never loses sight of the depiction of the brilliance of Ken Miles and Carroll Shelby in pulling off an incredible win.


That is worth watching again and again (and of course, you don't get to see Iacocca in movies - that is something!).

Memories of Alhambra (2018)

There are few TV dramas that is worth the time taken to write about them. 'Memories of Alhambra' is definitely one of them. It is a Korean rom-com (to a large extent) and a sort of sci-fi thriller - all mashed into one delightful cocktail.

Jung Hee-joo (played by Shin-hye) runs a hostel in the city of Granada when her brother goes missing. Yoo Jin-Woo (Hyun Bin) is the CEO of JOne holdings comes searching for the same brother and stays in the lowly hostel. By the time the first episode ends, the series is already on the top gear and the search intensifies.

Augmented reality games are already in place and the series cleverly blurs the line between reality and game and makes you wow with the integrated screenplay. The love story between Jung and Yoo starts slow and does not pick up till half way through. And when it does pick up, the story ends.

By the time they kiss in the 14th episode, you already lost all hope that this romance will go anywhere. But there are some real romantic moments which makes it worthwhile to watch.

There are moments in the middle of the series where things seem to go slow or kind of indecisive but then it gets sorted out. I guess the screen writer had some misgivings on how to take the story forward.

All said and done, the inter play of the technology and romance is done well - Hee-Joo appears as the guitarist Emma in the game as well - and the way reality blurs into the game were done well.

However there are real questions which does not get answered convincingly. There are gaps - like why Marco is not a bug and killed - which makes it a little confusing - unless, those are story lines for another season. Infact, there is another strong reason for the series to have another season.

Of course, the K-pop style songs in the series make it interesting as well - and like this one says, the story is a fairy tale but with a not so happy-ending. But love speaks an universal language and this series proves the same.

Beyond all that, the complex layering to the story involves the various legends associated with Granada itself - especially the palace of Alhambra - and the clever use of the Guitar playing the 'Memories of Alhambra' interlude to blur the lines of reality and the character exchanges between the two worlds are all done brilliantly.

Best of all is that its 16 episodes and can be watched fast (of course, it is the perfect series for a binge night!). So enjoy watching!

The Handmaid's tale

The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood

One of my favorite books to read is the 'Old Testament'. It has been a while I read it but I love the stories and while reading 'Handmaid's tale', I keep wondering where I've heard this term Handmaid. It is such a common and uncommon word to read. That's when I started to look up and found that it is part of the story of Rachel.

And 'A Handmaid's tale' refers back to the Book by subtle notions. The early years of the Republic of Gilead - which again is a reference back to the Biblical land - is when the story takes place. And the book written in the 80's is the story of a woman in the early years of the revolution that consumed America and produced a deep religious state in its stead. The deeply religious 'Sons of Jacob' - again Jacob is the husband of Rachel - take over the government after a bloody revolution and convert the country into a Theocratic republic with severe restrictions on the behavior, culture and other aspects of life, enforced with police and by turning the population against one another.

“But who can remember pain, once it’s over? All that remains of it is a shadow, not in the mind even, in the flesh. Pain marks you, but too deep to see. Out of sight, out of mind.”

The 80's see the ascent of the conservative politics in USA after a decade of feminist movement's success in the courts, business and culturally , the backlash of the Reagan years must've been scary for those who were part of the movement. And I can understand why Atwood chose that moment to write such a novel. What I was kept reminding myself of was that this is all happening here for centuries.

The 'here' I refer to is the Indian subcontinent - where there never was a huge feminist movement - and talking of women's rights usually gets a snigger and people move on. The construct of conservative religion subversively reducing the women to just carriers of children and objects of sex, is not a new concept here. This is all accomplished with no bloodshed and only through societal and religious constructs here. And the implementation of this entire subversion of rights is done through women.

So it was not much of a surprise for me to read through the book and keep coming back to relate it back to the history of women in here. I thought all the Republic of Gilead needed was better ways of brain washing the women and they can do without the policing and other measures of violence. Why spill blood when the same result can be achieved more subtly with a little more brain washing?

The context of the story itself is common across the world as it exists today - the dystopian nature of it comes only in the western context. Women being considered only as vessels of sex, Chalices, is a common thing in conservative societies and the strangest part is they are conditioned to accept it without question. Having a kid becomes the biggest achievement of life and existence and living in a relationship becomes mandatory because of the kid. The violence that is associated with these constructs of living is not understood or even discussed.

"If I thought this would never happen again I would die. But this is wrong, nobody dies from lack of sex. It's lack of love we die from.”

The book takes pains to express the various ways in which the Republic keeps the women marked for fertility to be used again and again for child bearing and sex with the 'commanders' who are a elite group of people destined to spread their seeds. So the initial part of the book has very little movement of the story and the strange part is that there is no back story as well (that comes as part of the epilogue). It is all the daily mundane life of a handmaid - called 'Offred' - as the women are not allowed to have names and identified only by the man who has them - in this case, she is 'of Fred'.

The scene setting of the book is extensive in explaining in details about the Aunts, Marthas, the Unwomen and the Eyes etc and still does not tell the story of how it all came about. There were hints here and there and a little of the details but there is no real story telling. I guess the point is not to have the story told explicitly but move it with the events. And the events are scare to go between.

There are Jezebel - the brothels run by the government for the commanders and the women who work them. Then there is the friend 'Ofglen' who disappears and Moira, the fiery lesbian - all their stories show a glimpse of what is going on in the society but never in full.

“All I can hope for is a reconstruction: the way love feels is always only approximate.”

The prose flowed like a river. I actually loved the way the narration was structured. I was able to buy into the premise because I live in one. Its been a long while since I found any writing to be actually likable. I was a little ashamed that it took me so long to find Atwood. The political and religious nature of a patriarchal society is brought out well and that again resonates so much into the actual world, it is stunning that no one sees it - the western readers I understand but those outside it - why?

For all the religious references through the book, it is all about power anyway. The power men have over the body of women - whether it is political or religious or through the rigid caste structure here - this power is what builds dystopian worlds like these and keep it going. That is the hard thing to understand. And understanding it only liberates.

'Don't let the bastards grind you down'

It is an interesting book and I was glad that she chose to write a sequel after all these years. I have not decided on reading the same yet but will have to give it some time and space before getting into it. For now, the story of Offred is enough to munch over. And have to find a way to watch the series.

அசுரன் - சாதியை பேசுதல்.

அம்பேத்கர் சாதிய அடுக்கை ஒரு நான்கு மாடி கட்டிடத்திற்கு ஒப்பிடுகிறார். இடையே எந்த படிகளும் இல்லாத கட்டிடம். மனிதனின் இயற்கையான சுய முன்னேற்றத்திற்கு எந்த வழியும் இல்லாத கட்டடம். யாரும் மேலும் செல்ல முடியாது. கீழேயும் வர முடியாது.

நான் அம்பேத்கரை படிக்க ஆரம்பித்தது ஒரு 10-15 வருடங்களுக்குள் இருக்கும். அதற்குள் காந்தியில் ஆரம்பித்து மார்க்ஸ் வரை படித்து விட்டேன். இன்றைய இந்தியாவில் அம்பேத்கரை வாசிப்பது என்பது மார்க்சுக்கு பின் நிகழ்வதை சாதிய அரசியலின் வெற்றி எனலாம். பள்ளியிலோ கல்லூரியிலோ - காந்தி, நேரு  தவிர்த்து அம்பேத்கர் ஒரு அடிக்குறிப்பாய் மட்டுமே இருக்கிறார். இந்தியாவின் உண்மையான அடித்தளத்தை பற்றிய அறிமுகம் அம்பேத்கரில் இருந்தே தொடங்க முடியும்.

அசுரன் - இந்த புரிதலை, இந்த கட்டமைப்பின் அநீதியை முன் வைக்கிறது. தென் தமிழகத்தின் கரிசல் காடு - அங்கு ஒரு சிறு காட்டுடன் வெள்ளாமை செய்யும் குடும்பம். அந்த காட்டை கேட்கும் உள்ளூர் நாயக்கர் - அதன் காரணமாய் நிகழ்த்தப்படும் வன்முறைகள்தான் கதை. இதில் கீழ்வெண்மணி கொலைகள், வட தமிழகத்தின் செருப்பு அரசியல் எல்லாம் பேசப்படுகிறது.

சாதிய பெருமை என்பது இங்கு இயல்பாய் நிகழ்த்த படுகிறது. இதன் உளவியல் எவ்வளவு நுண்ணியமானது என்று வியந்திருக்கிறேன். இந்த அடுக்கு - எல்லா நிலையிலும் தனக்கு கீழிருப்பவனை சுரண்டுவதை நியாயப்படுத்துவதன் மூலம் தன்னை நிலைநிறுத்திக் கொள்கிறது. இந்த சுரண்டல் கம்யூனிசம் பேசும் சுரண்டல் அல்ல. இங்கு ஒரு நாடாரும், பள்ளரும் தொழிலாளியாய் ஒன்றிணைவது இல்லை. சுரண்டப்பட்டாலும் தான் சாதி பெருமை பெரிதாய் இருக்கிறது. இந்த உளவியல் ஒரு பெரும் ஆய்வுக்குரிய விஷயம். ஆனால் பெருமைக்குரியது அல்ல.

'அசுரன்' இந்த உளவியலையும் காட்டுகிறது. அது போலவே சாதி எப்படி சுரண்டுகிறது - உழைப்பையும், ஒரு மனிதனின் சுய மதிப்பையும் என்றும் காட்டுகிறது. பூமணியின் நாவல் இந்தளவிற்கு வன்முறையை இருந்ததாய் நியாபகம் இல்லை. எனினும் இன்றைய சாதிய நிலை - சமூக வலை தளங்களிலும் - மென்மேலும் இறுக்கமாக பின்னப்படுகிறது.

இதற்கு என்ன தீர்வு? கல்வி ஒன்றே இந்த உளவியலை கொஞ்சமேனும் மாற்ற உதவும். இதையே வெற்றிமாறனும் தீர்வாக முன் வைக்கிறார். அதனாலேயே கல்வியின் சமூக நீதிக்கு நாம் தொடர்ந்து குரல் குடுக்க வேண்டியிருக்கிறது. இது புரிந்திருப்பதனாலேயே கல்வியை ஒரு தீர்வாக அன்றி, ஒரு privilegeஆக பேசும் ஒரு கூட்டம் 'ஆண்ட' சாதிகளிலும் பிற சாதிகளிலும் பேசிக்கொண்டே இருக்கிறது.

படத்தின் கரிசல் காடுகள், தேரி மேட்டின் பனைகள் எல்லாம் ஒரு ஏக்கம் கலந்த கடந்து போன ஒரு காலத்தின் எச்சங்களாக தோன்றின. ஆனால் இவற்றை கடந்து முன் செல்வதற்குதான் இத்தனை போராட்டங்களும், வலிகளும். நம்மை இன்னமும் அதே பழம் பெருமை சொல்லி நம்மிடத்தில் வைக்க வேண்டி ஒரு கூட்டம் வேலை செய்து கொண்டே இருக்கிறது.

அசுரன் - படிக்க வேண்டிய பாடம்.

Around the world and a few taxi rides - 3

Kenneth was from Nigeria. He has been driving Lyft as the school has not opened. He goes to BYU-Idaho and was waiting for the school to start. We were going to BYU Provo campus and started chatting. He asked me about India and I was telling him that I am from the southern part of India. He answered by asking me whether I know a place called 'Madurai' in South India. You could've knocked me down with a feather.

Astonished, I told him that I am from Madurai and how he knows the place. Apparently, before coming to US, he spent a year as a Nurse-in-training at the Aravind Eye hospital in Madurai. We started talking about Madurai and he mentioned that there are a good number of Africans - coming to Madurai - to study and work. And we parted.

Finding someone who knows Madurai in a place like Provo is such a random event that I wasn't prepared for it. It also showed that the world has shrunk so much that there is no point in getting worked up over things like that.

Suraj drove me back from the hotel to JFK for my return journey home. I was sleeping for half-way and then started talking to him. Suraj came to America five years back and is driving Uber/Lyft all the time. He is originally from Nepal and was telling me that I have to visit Nepal as there are so many places to see.

Out of the blue, he asked me how to get into IT. A lot of his friends are making a lot of money there and he wants to get in as well. I told him it is not a great reason for getting into IT and he should really figure a different reason if he really wants to get into IT. So Suraj told his story.

He came to US along with hi wife and started driving taxi for someone, since that seem to be the faster way to start earning. After a couple of years, he bought his car - a Toyota Camry - he started thinking of getting into another job. Thats when his wife got diagnosed with Cancer. He had to take her to doctor almost every weekend - consultation, radio therapy or chemo - something or other. So he decided to stick with taxi driving as it gave him to flexibility to take care of his wife. He was making about $1000/week and was focused on caring for his wife.

Then he said, as a matter of fact, that his wife passed away five months before and now, he doesn't want to drive taxi anymore and wants to find a job elsewhere and see if he can re-start his life. At this point, I was just shocked. I was not sure what to tell him. There was silence sometime. Then I told him what he can do to get into IT. 

JFK - In Night

JFK - AUH (EY 100)

JFK - International terminal has 'Shake Shack' now. I consider 'Shake Shack' to be the best burger shop all around in US - 'In N Out' comes a close second. However, the 'Shroom burger in 'Shake Shack' should be one any one can close to liking a veggie burger. I prefer the Cheeseburger anyway - so greasy, you can feel the arteries clog right away. May be, I will write a separate post on it.

The only disadvantage of the Gulf carriers is the travel time. It is at least 12.5-14 hours any day and that almost kills the joy of flying - especially with such good service and comfort. This time, in addition to the difficulty of flying for 13 hours, very sub-standard service by Etihad added to the misery.

I love the A380 - it is one of the beautiful planes around. It is huge and every time I cannot stop wondering, how does this thing even fly. But this is one of the best planes to get into if traveling by economy - especially on a Thursday. My prayers were answered when I saw that the middle seat was unoccupied and the guy in the window seat moved to the back of the plane.

When will we land?

While I sleep in all my flights, it is impossible to do that in these as even after a decent 4-5 hours sleep, you still have another 7-8 hours to kill. Etihad has the worst selection of movies and shows. I ended up watching 'Young Sheldon' , 'Friends' and GOT as there were no decent movies to watch. The food was sub-standard and in tiny portions (which may be a blessing).

After 14 hours, it was a relief to stand on the ground again - but I'd one more leg to complete.

AUH - MAA (EY 268)

I planned to sleep through this one and so grabbed a bit of dinner in the airport and boarded the plane. I was seated behind a little girl who decided to cry the entire 4 hours of the flight and thereby ending my grand plan.

So it was back to watching some inane shows to kill time - Etihad has a streaming service in this one and that is not much for entertainment.

That ended the about 35000 Km, round the world trip and I have no idea why I wanted to write about it - may be, just being vain, I guess -but it was fun writing it anyway.