Daenerys Targaryen

After watching the season finale last week, I thought I will not write about 'Game of Thrones' - it was such a disappointing final season to such an wonderful arc of a story. However self-destructing it may be, I also understood the way it ended - though I did not like it one bit.

The reason I invested close to a 100 hours to watch the entire series (not including the numerous times I watched certain episodes) - is primarily for Daenerys Targaryen. It is probably one of the neat characters created in a Television series and wanted to write about her than about the entire series.  I could not read the books - they were tedious and I was not able to move past couple of chapters - so this is entirely based on Daenerys as depicted by Emilia Clarke in the TV series.
'Lord of the Rings' remains my favorite fantasy novel series of all time. Not just because of the quality of the writing, but also because of the characters it threw up. There are some strong women characters in LoTR - Galadriel or Arwen - comes to mind. But my favorite has been Eowyn, who in a mad part of the story kills the Witch-King of Angmar. It is one of the finest pieces of writing in any form - Eowyn emerges as a strong character from being lovelorn about Aragorn. For that, Eowyn has remained my favorite girl for a long period.
Eowyn kills the Witch-king
I prefer the women characters in the stories to be strong, with a will of their own and while I like romance as much as any other person, it cannot be the one defining trait of a women.

'Game of Thrones' is full of such women - in fact, there is no one who is exactly single-dimensional - everyone schemes and have justified reasons for it - and some get redeemed along the way - some die. No one ends up marrying the love of their life and live happily ever after but they find happiness in their own way.

The number of such characters is where GOT differs from the standard story arcs. The entire game for the throne is between strong willed women - Cersei Vs Daenerys Vs Sansa - it is basically a series full of throne-hungry women with some men playing supporting roles. Apart from these, there are others who have their own agenda - Arya, Melisandre , Yara , Brienne or Missandei. It is essentially a series for women (that is exactly why the final season sucked big time!)
Of these, there are two whose story arcs stand out - Daenerys and Sansa. Sansa starts as a doe-eyed girl who wanted to marry the prince and her life goes to hell from that point onward, she is broken but survives to become the Queen of the North. Multiple men use her for their purposes along the way but she takes her revenge by the time it all ends.

However, Daenerys stands tall above all these women in that she goes through all of that and more - but never loses her will to take back the throne and more importantly, she brings a sense of justice to everything she does.

Married to a brutal Khal Drogo and raped at an young age, she slowly finds love with him, only for him to die. Against all odds, she takes over and becomes the Khaleesi. Though her one aim to reclaim the Iron throne for herself, she takes her time in Essos to liberate the slaves and declares breaking the chains to free the world as her aim.
Mhysa by Josu Hernaiz
Called 'Mhysa' (Mother) for freeing the slaves, she has her sense of justice prevails over the masters of the cities, the slave traders and those who oppress. It is with this same aim that she comes to Westeros - to break the wheel for the people who are oppressed by tyrants. It is here that the entire series takes a tumble.
Calling herself the 'Mother of dragons' - she breaks the streotype female of these fantasy stories - and breaks into a newer kind of heroine who is probably more intelligent than her male advisors and who is not hesitant to use force to enforce (what she considers as ) Justice. She has her share of romance - first with Khal and then finally with Jon (who is her nephew - Incest is such a in-thing in Westeros).

So it is that entire arc which was broken in the final season, so that a white boy - who did little in the whole story - could become king. The entire farce of the ending is what is disappointing - to say the least. So, for now, the only thing I decided to do is to just watch the first seven seasons and pretend that the eighth season never happened.

John Wick - 1,2 & 3

“Art is pain, life is suffering” mentions Angelica at some point in the movie - 'John Wick - Chapter 3 - Parabellum'. That probably about sums up the three John Wick movies so far - there seems to be at least one more coming up.

What John Wick is, is a lot of suffering - again, Angelica says it 'All of this, for a puppy?' - but suffering nonetheless. How that suffering is rendered is where John Wick becomes art - pulp - but art, nonetheless.

The cinematic genre - noir - is all about cynicism and the ambiguity of moral stories told stylishly. They tend to be serious, self-deprecating, violent and brooding - 'China Town' comes to mind. Nothing gets more serious or cynical than that.

Add pulp into that - it becomes hard to define - pulp movies are just mindless fare with a mix of sex and violence and punch talks and of course, hard crime stories. There is no movie that beats 'Pulp Fiction' here. (insert a 'Pulp Fiction' trailer here - because I love it!)
 Now, add Keanu Reeves into this Pulp-Noir and New York at night with all its landmarks and drop pop-culture references all around, what you get is mind-blowingly stylish and violent 'John Wick'.

'John Wick' has no story. That may be most strongest part of the movie. The supposed story starts with John losing his puppy (in part 1) and that he used to be an assassin before and that his wife passed away earlier. So John starts his vengeance to get his puppy back.

We know nothing about John (aka Jonathan) other than what is said above. There is no back story, there is no flashback - you get to see war lords and mafia heads and Ninjas talking reverentially about John (aka the Boogeyman) - that's about it. John Wick is violent because he is. That's all.

John Wick 3 has a distinct style and timeline. The action happens in 'now' but this 'now' still uses Nokia phones and sliders, there is the distinctly 60's looking operators at switchboards passing messages through rotary phones, the computers are mainframes but the city is a neo-noiristic New York of the present - I had fun trying to identify places in every shot, most the places are out-of-ordinary non-touristy places. Add Keanu Reeves in crisp black suit with 'lots of guns' that completes the picture.

The movies are an excuse for beautiful action sequences. Like the ballet sequences in 'John Wick 3', every step of the action is like a dance, beautifully choreographed, the cinematic angles and shots are absolutely brilliant and watching the men die - in tens of hundreds - is pure joy (however perverse it may be!).

The references to 'Matrix' or the Tarkovsky or the insanely beautiful shots of Oculus or Modern art installations in the mirror rooms or the intricate inside story of a complete underworld with its own stories, spaces, currency and what-not and a lot more is what makes the movie worth watching.

The pure cinematic joy of watching a Tarantino movie is what you get. I couldn't stop thinking about 'Kill Bill' references or the old Hong Kong movies of Jackie Chan or Sammo Hung - who tend to break as much glasses or fall hard as many times as John Wick.

It is this cocktail mix of all of these things with the unbridled violence which does not restrict itself makes the movies such fun. If you look for all these references, you will enjoy or if you dont, you will enjoy nevertheless.

Grab a popcorn - and nothing makes it taste better than 'John Wick'.

Sibi Finishes school

I started this blog only to document the adventures of being a father. I realized it the day Sibi was born. I wrote something about it in that week back in 2002, but never got around to publish it.

Now that Sibi has finished high school and is looking forward to enter the next phase of his life, I think it is high time for me to re-publish what I wrote about the day he was born - just like a sentimental father would. The only change I did is to add pictures to it. So here it is.


May 10, 2002

Its hard to forget this day for a variety of reasons. In fact I found a piece of myself on that day. I also found a few feelings which I thought I may never experience. Although I decided to write about it, I went through a lot of thoughts before I actually decided to do it. I even felt it will show a softer side of me. But I decided to write about it anyway. This is going to be a bit lengthy as I am planning to put whatever I went through that day.

It kind of feels like a dream. A wonderful dream for me. I try to re-live that one day so many times in the past 6 months and it is still not possible for me to do it. But I will try to put in writing all the things I went through that one day.

The due date for Sibi was May 23,2002. So we had no idea that he will try to see his papa and mama so quick. I remember May 9 as well.

Actually on May 8th we got into the hospital after Jeysri had some false pains.We got home that day thinking that Sibi is not gonna be out for another week or two. I came home at around 9-9.30 pm after an office dinner. And Jeysri was all alone and was watching TV I guess. We were talking for some time and went to bed. Around midnight, Jeysri, got up telling that the water has broken down. 

I got up and dressed and we started for the hospital. Our doctor, Dr. Kalpana Savla, told us to check into the hospital as soon as the water broke down. So we decided to go to the hospital immediately. 

But she was not feeling any pain and so we took our own sweet time to get to hospital. Being such a ready-pop I am, I didn't had any gas in my car and so had to search for a Chevron which is open. Finally put gas and reached hospital. Since we were there only the day before, they recognized us immediately and put us in a labor room. After looking at those monitors they decided that the baby is gonna be born that day and put us in the labor/delivery room.

The hospital we went to was the Family birth & New born center in the Citrus Valley Medical Center, Queen of the Valley Campus in West Covina. This is definitely one of the best hospitals in the area. Like all the best run private hospitals, this is also run by some Catholic institution.

The doctor advised us to keep walking all night and she will check back around 6am. So we started walking on the corridor. We met one of our Lamaze mates while walking on the corridor. She also had her water broke and had no pain. She was walking with her mother. I was wondering where her husband is. So we walked and walked and I got tired. 

Midnight Walking..
 Then we came back to the labor room and called home. Everyone got nervous once we said we are already in the hospital. But it was fun. Poor me..I didn't know what is gonna hit me that day.

Around 5am, I started sleeping. Jeysri woke me up by 6am. The nurse was there. They wanted to induce the labor by giving Pitocin. Jeysri said she don't want any pain killers. So the countdown began. The bad thing about inducing pain is that it is not natural. 

We were expecting a normal birth all along we didn't even think of the possibility of inducing pain et al. The pains were sharp and short-spanned. There was no gradual increase as taught in the Lamaze.
It was crazy. 
Tired..in the labor room
 First 30 minutes was like confusion. I don't really understand what is going on except that she is experiencing some pain. All I learnt in the child-birth classes went blank and I almost panicked. Then I realized the pain she is feeling and I was trying to cheer her up. I tried to talk about other things and how good it is going to be once the baby is born and how much our lives are going to change and so on. But I don't remember what I was talking. I just had her hand in mine and was praying all the time in my mind.

7am. The nurse came in and said there is not much dilation. Which is a bit disappointing after walking the whole night and going through all the pain inducement. But it was just one hour into this thing.

9am. Again no dilation. But the pain was becoming too sharp and Jeysri was finding it harder and harder to hold on. So we decided to have some painkillers. So that is another syringe of fluid into the body. Once injected of the medicine, Jeysri went into a kind of delirious state. 

All my life I have felt that I can handle any situation.But when I watched her talking in her delirious state and screaming when the pain hits, that is the most singular moment is my life when I felt helpless. So helpless, I almost hate myself for being there without having a way of sharing the pain. All I could do was to wait and tell her some soft words and hope that she dont feel that bad when the pain hits next.

Looking back, its kind of hard to imagine for me to think of all the emotions I went through. It was a combination of all the known emotions of the mankind. I cannot think of another day like that either. It was the most emotionally intense I have ever felt. Probably I may never experience that feeling again. It is like the slow movements of the most exquisite music which causes as much agony as joy.

Around 12.30pm , doctor came and since there was no progress, decided to do a C-section. Now, I have read a lot about C-section, how it is done ,the implications and the absolute safety of it. But at that moment, when the doctor told me that it is C-section, I cannot bring myself to agree to that. But I signed some paper they showed before me and was almost on the verge of tears. 

Now, Jeysri is almost in trance as the IV was removed. The nurse botched the removal of the IV and it resulted in blood being tripping from hand. I was so incensed. Luckily, Dr Wu came in and saw that and gave an earful to the nurse and fixed Jeysri's hand.

Korah and Raja came when all these were going on. They heard about the us being in hospital and felt it necessary to came see us. Jeysri talked to them about the morning and some other stuff. 

But as soon as we went behind the curtain, I broke down. It was too much to hold my emotions at that point. I desperately wanted someone to talk to. And when I found Korah and Raja, I felt like I found someone to share what I felt till that time. They tried to cheer me up but they had no idea what Jeysri went through and how hard it is to watch the whole thing. Somehow I managed to pull myself together.

They reminded me that I haven't eaten anything from the day before and offered to bring me lunch.

When I came back into the room, they were planning to move Jeysri into the operating theater. I felt better after releasing a bit of my emotions but still the uncertainty of what will happen loomed over me. 

I signed a few more sheets of paper. I have no idea what they were. I was just asked to and I signed. I told the doctor I wanted to be in the operation room. Doc agreed and asked me to wait outside and that they will call me.

When we got admitted into the hospital, we agreed to donate the umbilical cord which in turn can be used in treatment for certain diseases in children and adults. Although I didn't had much of an idea about the umbilical cord and its uses, we decided to do it anyway, if that is going to help some kid somewhere.

Well, back to the narrative, as I was sitting outside the operation theater waiting for the doctor to call me in, there was this female who was waiting besides me carrying a tray(or bowl). She is the one from the lab to collect the umbilical cord. She was from Philippines. We were talking about our experiences in America and she was trying to make me cheerful. I was really, what you say, depressed. I wanted to speak desperately to someone. And she was telling me about her experiences and how simple C-sections are. Huh, what does she know!.

Then, the nurse called us in. I only remember the name of the nurse as Mary. She said she is from Kerala. Anyway I went in.

Its like seeing a million lines of some alien programming code for me. I cannot understand what is going on. There was Dr Savla with some instrument in hand and another big guy standing opposite to her, assisting her. I sat next to Dr. Wu, the anesthetist, looking at what looked to me like some space ship controls. Actually he was administering anesthesia.

Its the classic fear of the unknown. I don't really know what is going on. Although the doctor explained to me prior to the operation, I had no idea that it will look like this. I tried talking to Jeysri but she was, at best, semi-conscious.

I dared once to look above the curtain which separated Jeysri's face and the rest of her body. I saw Dr. Savla standing there in her gloves full of blood, reminding me of Kali doing her spiritual dance. I still cannot forget that imagery. I had no problem about it but the picture of it is struck in my mind.

Those are really anxious moments for me. No body told me this is going to be this way. No body told me this is going to be this intense and I will need all my energy to sustain those minutes and hours. I was simply thrown there in the middle of it, without having any idea of how much it is going to change our relationship and how much it is going to change me. In retrospect, I can never forget this one day, not only because my son was born that day, but because it made our relationship stronger than ever.

It was 2.45pm. There I heard that sound. Familiar to me, from the countless number of Tamil movies. The sound of a newborn. I thanked all the Gods. And the nurse gave the infant to me. I cannot make anything out of him. He is MY son. It was the moment of realization and celebration. I never felt so much happiness in my life. 

Then the nurse showed it to Jeysri(who by the way has a very vague memory of it!). Then they bathed the infant and put on the drops and everything. And Sibi was off to nursery. I was standing there not knowing what to do. Jeysri is still semi-conscious and I was told that she will be moved to the room outside in a few minutes. 

First picture of Sibi
I went out and waited for her. They brought her after a joyful, confusing, tense waiting of 15-20 minutes. She was awake and I was able to talk to her. I told her, "One kid is enough for us!". She smiled as if to say,"Huh! I know you!".

Then I was told that they will bring her to the post-partum room for her recovery and I can be with her after that. But now, I have to wait outside. So I went out and promptly fell asleep in the lobby couch.

Korah and Raja wake me up with the lunch from KFC. It was good to talk to someone after such a long day. I enjoyed my twister. I never told them how much I owe them for what they did that day (and ofcourse, all the days preceding to that). This is something which cannot be repaid in money and I will always owe them. They are really my great friends. Then I called up my parents to give them the good news.
Family picture..
Oh yeah, I had a digital camera, camcorder and all sorts of gear to record every moment of it in memory. But since I was so preoccupied with myself and Jeysri, I didn't use them once between 6am and 3pm. Think the first snap of Sibi was in the nursery, after I took Korah and Raja to show them the baby.

There she was. My darling wife. Awake and tired. We talked for a moment and she slept after that.
I went home to pick some stuff.

It is indeed a great feeling to have a kid. I enjoy every moment I spend with Sibi these days. He is so full of energy and is already showing the traits of his papa and mama. Till the day we brought Sibi home, it never dawned on me that our lives have changed for good. It was indeed an unique experience. Probably we experience it once or twice.

Next time, at least I know what to expect. So it may not be this intense for me. But I should write a word about my wife here. Knowing that she has gone through all these pain and medications, just so that we may have a baby has really made me love her more than ever. I am sure that any woman who is willing to go through such an experience, should be acting on the basis of her love and that really shows how much she loves me also.

We spent about 9 months looking after each other culminating in that big day of our life, 10.May.2002. It is, undoubtedly, the best day of my life.

I may not have experienced all these first-hand, had we been in India. My parents and her parents would have been there to share it. But I think it is fortunate that we went through this all-alone and came out of it, loving each other more than ever. I could never thank the Gods enough for that.

கீழடி அருங்காட்சியகம்.

உலகம் முழுவதும் இருக்கும் பல அருங்காட்சியகங்களுக்கு சென்றிருக்கிறேன். நியூ யார்க், கத்தார், துபாய், வாஷிங்டன், லாஸ் ஏஞ்சல்ஸ் போன்ற நகரங்களின...